On my lazy "fully taking advantage of the holiday" day, I've been lying in bed watching TV and idly wondering if/when I'm going to hear from him next. Ever the optimist, I get the bright idea to come in to work beaming on Monday morning after a lovely weekend and tell everyone who seems remotely interested that "I think I've just met someone." In seeing how I typically don't hear back from these random suitors that I find, I feel this should be a habit I break--immediately. As I now feel quite embarrassed that I even told a soul about this new fellow as I have not heard a word from him since Sunday.
Granted, I met him in a completely comfortable way (although, quite out of my element), and he is TOTALLY not my typical person of interest... I very much enjoyed his company and was intrigued. Again, clearly, I should've stuck to my guns and gone with my initial "he's not old enough, nor is he tall enough," and moved on with the day. But no... I've been trying to open my mind to new people and new situations, since whatever my "typical" is certainly hasn't been working.
But here is my dilema... I was watching "Sex in the City," the one where Carrie meets Alexander Petrovsky (the great artist); they're walking in the park and she begins their chat with "It's been 3 weeks, I thought you'd forgotten about me." And he jokes about her snubbing him when they first met... blah, blah. But I thought, "Oh my gosh... here I am, looking at my phone after 3 days, and she thinks it's normal that she didn't get a follow-up from him after 3 weeks!" It's so hard to date people these days because nobody trusts anyone. And the ones you do let yourself believe end up hurting you, so then you're back to square one with yet another reason to doubt the whole institution! It's very frustrating...
My girlfriends always tell me "Just take it slow.. you never give anyone a chance." I really don't see how I'm the bully here. :/ Is it wrong that I simply don't want to meet another guy and get butterflies and really start to think that maybe I've finally met a good guy who could turn into something... and then he just vanishes and I'm left to sit and wonder what went wrong? I'm sorry, but I think you're a little crazy if you think women like me are being dramatic. Isn't it human nature to not want to be hurt? And isn't it a bit like survival? I mean, would you go into a war zone unprepared? Of course not. Nobody wants to just walk into a situation and say "Well, this is probably going to just about kill me, and it's certainly going to hurt like crazy... but I'm going to give it a shot!" Ummm... no. Nobody would do that.
Yet, in our own way, we do. Every time we send a "This is my number" text to the new guy with the gorgeous brown eyes. First step onto the battlefield. And yet I can't help but wonder, how can we ever learn and really meet "the one" if we never give anyone a chance? Don't we have to "kiss a million frogs before we meet our prince?" That's what they always say... But can't we somehow find a way to see if the guy is A) a really good guy, who is interested, just scared and busy so he lets himself wait a little longer to contact you so he doesn't seem over-eager? B) a douche or C) Maybe he's just not that into you.
The thing is, it's really hard to tell sometimes. Let's take my experience for example, I've had the guy who I just met be all into me for 2 weeks straight, calling, texting, hanging out every evening... and then poof! he's gone. And you want to know the reason I finally dragged out of him at the end of it?? "How do I know you're not going to hurt me like my ex did?" ARE YOU F'ING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?! Here is this big, tall, buff guy who has a VERY manly life/job, etc... pretty much hiding behind his teddy bear. :( Pathetic.
But... he was honest. And that's the only way I was able to get over that situation... maybe to me, a girl who probably was finally ready for a serious relationship, he seemed like such a coward. But then again, how many ways have I kept myself protected in my little shell? How many years has it been since I was someone's girlfriend? It's different for everyone, but at least he's taking a chance now...
So here I am... reading articles about "Why Men Wait to Call." Really? Am I really here right now? WTF? I met a guy, thought he was cute... we went out for a movie then to the museum. It seemed like a lovely weekend. Nothing too serious. We held hands... he kissed me. Simple and sweet. So what should I do now? Obviously, I'm not going to contact him. But, when I do hear back from him finally... should I even respond? Why would someone not even say hello? Maybe he thinks he's playing hard to get, but to me it's just bad manners. I really hate dating sometimes.
Truth? It almost embarrasses me that I honestly do miss him. I haven't had butterflies like that, nor have I laughed and played with anyone like we did last weekend. I had such a good time. I know I held back on the kisses, but to be honest, I wasn't ready to reeally kiss him. And I don't think that's a bad thing. You can't give someone your everything 5 minutes in. And even if you think he is the one you might someday... you shouldn't today. When you do, how much more amazing would it be if you don't think-- you know he is the right one.
And so... I wait. I just hope that I'm not waiting forever. I don't do the "girl on the sidelines with a calling card" thing very well. I want the alpha male, without all of his hang-ups. Can't I just be swept off my feet by a beautiful and intelligent man who is sensitive, too? Does that even exist? Hmm. Who knows?
Granted, I met him in a completely comfortable way (although, quite out of my element), and he is TOTALLY not my typical person of interest... I very much enjoyed his company and was intrigued. Again, clearly, I should've stuck to my guns and gone with my initial "he's not old enough, nor is he tall enough," and moved on with the day. But no... I've been trying to open my mind to new people and new situations, since whatever my "typical" is certainly hasn't been working.
But here is my dilema... I was watching "Sex in the City," the one where Carrie meets Alexander Petrovsky (the great artist); they're walking in the park and she begins their chat with "It's been 3 weeks, I thought you'd forgotten about me." And he jokes about her snubbing him when they first met... blah, blah. But I thought, "Oh my gosh... here I am, looking at my phone after 3 days, and she thinks it's normal that she didn't get a follow-up from him after 3 weeks!" It's so hard to date people these days because nobody trusts anyone. And the ones you do let yourself believe end up hurting you, so then you're back to square one with yet another reason to doubt the whole institution! It's very frustrating...
My girlfriends always tell me "Just take it slow.. you never give anyone a chance." I really don't see how I'm the bully here. :/ Is it wrong that I simply don't want to meet another guy and get butterflies and really start to think that maybe I've finally met a good guy who could turn into something... and then he just vanishes and I'm left to sit and wonder what went wrong? I'm sorry, but I think you're a little crazy if you think women like me are being dramatic. Isn't it human nature to not want to be hurt? And isn't it a bit like survival? I mean, would you go into a war zone unprepared? Of course not. Nobody wants to just walk into a situation and say "Well, this is probably going to just about kill me, and it's certainly going to hurt like crazy... but I'm going to give it a shot!" Ummm... no. Nobody would do that.
Yet, in our own way, we do. Every time we send a "This is my number" text to the new guy with the gorgeous brown eyes. First step onto the battlefield. And yet I can't help but wonder, how can we ever learn and really meet "the one" if we never give anyone a chance? Don't we have to "kiss a million frogs before we meet our prince?" That's what they always say... But can't we somehow find a way to see if the guy is A) a really good guy, who is interested, just scared and busy so he lets himself wait a little longer to contact you so he doesn't seem over-eager? B) a douche or C) Maybe he's just not that into you.
The thing is, it's really hard to tell sometimes. Let's take my experience for example, I've had the guy who I just met be all into me for 2 weeks straight, calling, texting, hanging out every evening... and then poof! he's gone. And you want to know the reason I finally dragged out of him at the end of it?? "How do I know you're not going to hurt me like my ex did?" ARE YOU F'ING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?! Here is this big, tall, buff guy who has a VERY manly life/job, etc... pretty much hiding behind his teddy bear. :( Pathetic.
But... he was honest. And that's the only way I was able to get over that situation... maybe to me, a girl who probably was finally ready for a serious relationship, he seemed like such a coward. But then again, how many ways have I kept myself protected in my little shell? How many years has it been since I was someone's girlfriend? It's different for everyone, but at least he's taking a chance now...
So here I am... reading articles about "Why Men Wait to Call." Really? Am I really here right now? WTF? I met a guy, thought he was cute... we went out for a movie then to the museum. It seemed like a lovely weekend. Nothing too serious. We held hands... he kissed me. Simple and sweet. So what should I do now? Obviously, I'm not going to contact him. But, when I do hear back from him finally... should I even respond? Why would someone not even say hello? Maybe he thinks he's playing hard to get, but to me it's just bad manners. I really hate dating sometimes.
Truth? It almost embarrasses me that I honestly do miss him. I haven't had butterflies like that, nor have I laughed and played with anyone like we did last weekend. I had such a good time. I know I held back on the kisses, but to be honest, I wasn't ready to reeally kiss him. And I don't think that's a bad thing. You can't give someone your everything 5 minutes in. And even if you think he is the one you might someday... you shouldn't today. When you do, how much more amazing would it be if you don't think-- you know he is the right one.
And so... I wait. I just hope that I'm not waiting forever. I don't do the "girl on the sidelines with a calling card" thing very well. I want the alpha male, without all of his hang-ups. Can't I just be swept off my feet by a beautiful and intelligent man who is sensitive, too? Does that even exist? Hmm. Who knows?
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